I was talking with my brother on IM last night and he complained about sotware engineers. He showed me a conversation between himself and an engineer. I thought it was a made-up joke dialog, to make his point.

But he blogged about it today, and said it was an actual transcript. OMG! Here it is in its full glory. Read it and weep.

AVC - (presenting plan and budget) Can you do this?
AB - Absolutely
AVC - Can you get it done by the due date?
AB - Yep
AVC - Can we get it done using this budget?
AB - Yes, could do
AVC - Can you get it done in this time *and* with this budget
AB - If you can get someone to work for free
AVC - So you can’t do this by yourself?
AB - Yes, I can
AVC - But not by the due date…
AB - I could…
AVC - But not with the other stuff you’re doing?
AB - Yes
AVC - Meaning no, you can’t get it done and do your other work too….
AB - Not without help
AVC - Which costs money
AB - Normally
AVC - So this current plan of you doing this by yourself by this date and with this budget won’t work
AB - Not without divine intervention
AVC - So when you said “absolutely”, you meant “absolutely not”?
AB - Absolutely