Chet Haase's Blog

Two Items Walk into a ToolBar...

Some of us recently visited the Sun offices in St. Petersburg, Russia, where we have lots of great client engineers working on AWT, Swing, and 2D. We spent most of the week working on various desktop development issues (like planning the features in the next release after Mustang).

But the most important contribution of our efforts there might be in the field of Swing Humor, a niche that has been all too bereft of attention in recent years, since the original classic joke of naming and trademarking the library with the generic and unmemorable monicker “Java Foundation Classes” when all of our developers know it as simply “Swing”.

In an effort to inject some badly-needed humor into this area of Java development, I offer the following joke. Shannon Hickey and I worked on this one intermittently during the course of an evening, finally arriving at this version:

	Two items walk into a ToolBar.
	The bartender says, “Can I get you a menu?”
	“No thanks, we're looking for a little action.”

	An item walks into a ToolBar.
	The bartender says, “Where's your friend?”
	“Big event last night; he's disabled.”

	An item walks into a ToolBar.
	The bartender says, “Can I get you a drink?”
	“No thanks, I'm a lightweight.”

If you can think of any others and want the Instant Fame that is surely to follow from adding a comment to this blog, please feel free to add it below. If you don't think the jokes above are funny, feel free to not tell me; my ego couldn't take it. Besides, if you didn't find them funny, why have you bothered to read this far?

For the exciting sql to this joke, check out Two Items Walk Back into a Toolbar

Comments

• What people should know is that you're telling those jokes (and others!) at the office. The community should be amazed we manage to make some work done with Chet telling such jokes :)

  Posted by: gfx on October 18, 2005 at 11:51 AM

• Groan :-)

  Posted by: jonbruce on October 18, 2005 at 01:08 PM

• Sorry but I couldn't resist sharing this one with you:

  Two ints and a Float are in a bar.
  They spot an attractive Double on her own.
  The first int walks up to her. “Hey, baby”, he says, “my VM or yours”. She slaps him and he walks back dejected.
  The second int walks over. “Hey, cute-stuff, can I cook your Beans for breakfast”. After a quick slapping, he too walks back.
  The Float then ambles over casually. “Were those two primitive types bothering you?”, he remarks.
  “Yes. I'm so glad you're here”, she says. “They just had no Class!”
  

  Posted by: esdaniel on October 18, 2005 at 05:26 PM

• I am soo jealous that you've visitied St.Petersburg. I haven't been there about four years. Some of my old friends must be now colleagues of you and I haven't seen them for ages.

  Posted by: euxx on October 18, 2005 at 05:42 PM

• I came here looking for some good Swing jokes, but I guess this is the wrong thread. Perhaps someone will post one later. No big loss--I'm not sure of their utility in any event.

  Posted by: coxcu on October 19, 2005 at 08:33 AM

• I apologize for this in advance...

  Two objects meet returning to their block one night...
  'You're just my type' says one
  'You're quite a catch yourself' says the other
  '...but it would never work out, my parents are very protective'
  

  Posted by: keilly on October 19, 2005 at 12:09 PM

• I'm sure there's an another punchline about accessing their private packages, but this is a public board. We must protect our friends and children.

  Posted by: gbarton on October 19, 2005 at 01:39 PM

• I came here looking for some good Swing jokes, but I guess this is the wrong thread. --- Yeah, you needed to be on the joke dispatch thread. Swing is not thread safe after all, and jokes go on their own thread.

  Posted by: robogeek on October 20, 2005 at 03:47 PM

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