Simon Morris's Blog

January 2007 Archives

Justifiable Homicide

Despite not being a violent man (honest!) I've found myself increasingly being moved by the argument that programmers, and perhaps other technical staff too, should be given limited license to kill people under the defence of justifiable homicide.

All you programmers reading can stop cheering though -- I'm not suggesting a complete free-for-all. We can't have programmers just going around killing people willy-nilly, that would just be unfair. And far too arbitrary. For example. there's a guy in my office who would love to decapitate anyone who makes excessive use of the colour printers. Which, to my thinking, is a tad extreme (although, admittedly, does score favourably in the "saving the planet" stakes.)

No, instead I propose that the license to kill be restricted to certain key phrases. If a client, management, or even fellow workers utter these words, or anything remotely like them, all programmers within earshot are given immediate dispensation to dispatch them to the great Steering Group Meeting in the sky, pronto.

And so, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, I present the first in an occasional series (for which, read: "if anyone likes them I might write some more") of IT crimes which should be covered by the defence of justifiable homicide...

Continue Reading...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.