Looking for a home for my SnipSnap

Here's a short list of general features I'm looking for, sorted by priority:

* Tomcat 5 (what sane person would pay for tomcat 4?)
* Dedicated JVM
* MySQL Database
* 200 - 500 MB disk space
* At least 2048 MB of bandwidth per month, though I doubt I'll need it.
* SSL Certs available
* At least 1 primary domain
* n Subdomains (not rocket science, here)
* Raw log access
* SSH / SCP / SFTP access for posting files.

At the price that some hosting providers charge for the above, I'd be better off to relax a little on uptime expectations, buy one of those sweet Mac Minis for a web server, load a basic environment into it and throw some money at a friend for a static IP and tell him to use the machine as a bookend. Does this sound familiar to the rest of you? Why is Java web hosting so poorly represented, or did I miss some brilliant dev mecca?

Please feel free to post suggestions, comments and flames below.