Tim Boudreau's Blog

Stories about John Ponte

I met John in 1986 when I was a freshman at UMass. We were both part of a community of extremely eccentric individuals that used the Cyber mainframe there. It was a community bound together by primitive local newsgroups called "notesfiles" and a proto-irc called "Confer". And by the fact that the terminal room closed for cleaning on Thursday nights, so everyone would gather in the campus coffee shop for "coffee break" - and to scare the mundanes with whatever bizarre behavior we could muster, including showing up in costume, more than two people making out together, musical interludes and anything else anyone could dream of that could make people think we were all crazy. It was easy - we all were.

John was one of the administrators of the system. You could get online from the dorms, but whenever conversation on Confer got heated and interesting, the buffer pushing data to your 300 baud acousticouple modem would be flooded and you'd be timed out and miss everything. So the terminal room was the gathering place.

One of the other admins of the system was the gatekeeper to the community via a simple technique: he would mercilessly hit on anyone who logged in for the first time, be they male or female, with lots of S&M overtones. If you couldn't handle that, you'd probably never dare to log in again. This was to scare the mundanes away. It worked. My first-ever electronic chat began with a man I didn't know announcing to me "I am a bottom." I think I replied that I was a left-side. Apparently I passed the test.

I really got to know John the summer of 1988 - my girlfriend Mara rented a room in the house he lived in. John had had severe problems with depression at a young age. He was quite matter of fact about it being biological and simply something he had to live with and take medication for. Aside from meds which imposed severe dietary restrictions, he had a unique and memorable way of dealing with it: Do anything that looked like fun, no matter how ridiculous. "Anything" tended to heavily biased toward physical comedy and practical jokes.

I Really Need a Shower

This led to a host of other ingenious indoor uses for the garden hose...which eventually came to an end after the linoleum in the kitchen started coming up - the floorboards had to dry out enough to glue it back down.

We're Not Drunk Enough to Work on an Italian Car!

John did his once a year off-the-meds month that summer, which was a bacchanal of pizza, beer and other normally forbidden foods. On another morning that July I got up at seven AM or so. I was working mornings at Augie's Tobacco Shop in Amherst (a truly surreal bit of employment - but that's a story for another day). This was a Saturday and I was not working.

I sit down at the kitchen table with my coffee, and John takes the coffee, pours it out and replaces it with an 18oz beer. "We're not drunk enough to work on an Italian car," he says. Well, drunk we got and work we did. I don't remember Mara being too happy when she got up at ten to find us reeking of beer and WD-40. I also don't know that anything got fixed. But it sure was fun.

The Flour Cannon

Returning from a trip to the grocery, it occurred to John that it would be fun to empty a bag of flour over our friend Andy's head. This, of course, left a huge pile of flour on the kitchen floor (not to mention on Andy). Naturally, it needed to be cleaned up. That only led to another opportunity for mayhem: An upright Hoover vacuum will clean up flour. But it's much more interesting if you remove the bag. Thus was born The Flour Cannon. I don't know that the results were ever completely cleaned up.

John was the one person I knew from our little online community in the 80's who kept in touch with everyone - I couldn't believe how many people I'd lost touch with whose lives he could tell me about when I saw him last year.

We got together a few times after college, whenever I was passing through Colorado on one of my between-contracts road-trips. He had dropped all the meds sometime in the early nineties, and as he told it, drove nonstop from Massachusetts to Colorado with a box of Wheat Thins for sustenance. When NetBeans was acquired by Sun in 1999, I did some name searches, figuring that one or two of our very peculiar group from the Cyber at UMass must be working here. And sure enough, John was working for Sun in Colorado. And was doing well - as funny as ever, and as smart as ever, and working as a sysadmin in Sun's Broomfield office. I last saw him a bit over a year ago; he was in great shape, happy with his job at a startup there and doing well. We talked for hours later by phone - he was planning the world's most obnoxious baby shower gifts for Mara and Neal, and making sure everyone from Cyber was part of the conspiracy. Captain Underpants figured heavily in the plans.

I can't really imagine a world without him in it.

If you knew John Ponte, and have a story you'd like to tell about him, you're welcome to share it or a link to it below. I'm sure others of us would enjoy reading them, and perhaps they can be gathered together for his family, if that seems appropriate.

Comments

• I have too many stories about John to possibly post them all, or even really to pick one. John was the big brother I never had. He was there for the hangovers, before and after. He taught me responsibility. He taught me never to grow up. He taught me to cook, balance my checkbook, change the sparkplugs on a motorcycle and the oil in my car. But most of all he taught me that everything was fun, or at least it could be made fun if you just adjusted your thinking a bit.

  John, I didn't know how much I missed you...
  always your little sister, Mara

  Posted by: kitiara on September 09, 2006 at 07:10 AM

• 145db of Tears for Fears

  Yet another 'very John thing.' The last summer I lived at home I had a job working for a distributor of the Boston Globe. This involved - among other things - getting to a warehouse in the middle of an apartment complex 30 miles south of Boston at about 2am to meet the truck coming in from Boston with the papers, and getting them separated into routes for the paperboys and route drivers.

  One morning a bit after 3 I was waiting - impatiently - for the truck to arrive when the phone rang. Desparately hoping the person about to call in sick or with car trouble didn't have 400 papers I was going to have to deal with I answered the phone.

  A familiar voice asked "Is Neal Lastname working there?" to which I answered "Yes I am." The response was "Oh, yes you are eh?" followed by a loud and hearty exclaimation of "Baghead!"

  And a click.

  So I figure John is monkeying with his medicine, more than a little manic, and unable to sleep out in Amherst.

  *BZZZT*

  Less than five minutes later, I hear the unmistakeable sound of John's then-favorite cassette - Tears for Fears' Songs from the Big Chair - and I expect to see the Fiat or the Charger pull around the corner at any second.

  But it just keeps getting louder.

  Eventually, the beatup blue Fiat comes around the corner. I would never have guessed that you could get that much volume out of a Fiat. Did I mention that the warehouse was in the middle of an apartment complex. Or that it was around 3am?

  ...But even with the trouble I got in for having noisy friends, Shout never sounded quite so good.

  
  Actually, I can feel it

  Staying with loud, there was once a place called Andy's Pizza. It was just south of UMass Amherst's Southwest residential area.

  They had a jukebox.

  The jukebox had a volume control, and John had found it.

  The jukebox also had the Quiet Riot single 'Cum on, Feel the Noize'

  ..and John had turned it up so far that you could.

  We were encouraged to call for delivery.

  -Neal/Corum

  Posted by: corum on September 09, 2006 at 07:30 AM

• I remember....

  ...Spock helping Jim fix a hole in his exhaust pipe with a Coke can and duct tape (hint: don't try this at home, at least not without nose plugs)

  ...and then teaching Jim how to drive standard in the Fiat in the local shopping center parking lot and having the cops stop by to see why people are doing donuts at 1 AM.

  ...aiming the windshield wiper fluid nozzle on the PVTA bus so it would squirt jaywalkers.

  ...the rallying cry "PWAH!"

  I miss you,John.

  - Johnna/Romana

  Posted by: jyklukas on September 09, 2006 at 08:31 AM

• Just one? Not possible. John was one of the best friends I've ever had, and certainly is responsible for some of the memories that are most important to me.

  Nailing the chairs to the walls of his apartment.
  How many people CAN you fit in the shower?
  Spicy food - so spicy your eyes were watering just from being in the kitchen.

  Scrambled eggs with cinnamon. And he didn't even EAT eggs then!

  John took care of me in so many ways, I always loved him in ways I could never express in words - not to him, anyway.

  I'm a little overwhelmed to be coherent right now, but reading everyone else's thoughts is bringing tears and smiles at the same time.

  Spock-wad, I will always have you in my heart.

  Posted by: epanther on September 09, 2006 at 11:49 AM

• I remember the aftermaths I always walked in after things happened. I remember walking in after a flour and water fight, I was asked to help clean up the house because some Parents were coming over the next day. And I see the mess and John looking at me and saying "Water and Flour make Paste!".

  I remember him writing to do lists on the wall in the kitchen, only to find out Dry Erase doesn't work on a painted wall.

  I remember him trying to teach me to cook. I was delared a cook when I started a fire boling water. And I learned the smoke detect is just another kitchen timer to let you know dinner was ready.

  He put cinnamon in everything and baking soda in tomato sauce so you didn't get heartburn.

  I remember him yelling at me from the driveway once. I had driven Mara's car back from Sunderland and he needed to move it. He got into the car and yelled loud enough that all the neighbors around heard "Jennifer, you are too short, I just hit my nuts on the steering wheel!"

  I remember the year I turned 21, he was off his meds. Neither of us remembered much of that summer.

  And more recently when his gift for Mara and Neal's baby arrived at my house for the baby shower I asked if it was safe for public consumption, he insisted it was... it wasn't.

  I will miss you John. Hloe!

  -Jennifer/Daphne

  Posted by: jabusheery on September 09, 2006 at 01:26 PM

• He was never too busy to answer a question, even if the question seemed utterly clueless (as most of my computer questions were at the time). But what I remember the most was John's unerring sweetness--perhaps this isn't something he showed to most of the world, but I was privilaged to see this side of him. You knew that things affected him very deeply, but he didn't talk a lot about it--one word said usually left ten words unsaid, but he felt for everyone who was troubled. He made me feel grateful that he was my friend.

  Godspeed, dear friend. Deb/Auriga
  

  Posted by: gemi9 on September 09, 2006 at 08:13 PM

• More than John, I miss a time when John was part of my life. I admit, I've fallen out of touch with 99 percent of the folks I knew from the terminal room, and from UMSFS. Sargon had to track me down through hints and google searches and coded comments on a public web page. I'm glad he did.

  In many ways, John was a "grown up" to me. I came to UMass way to young -- I couldn't drive when I got there. So naturally, having someone around who could not only drive, but drive a bus and help fill it up with milk crates to the savage cry of "Pwah!" was an important step up in the world for me.

  It was a really scary, crazy, wonderful and humbling part of my life. Many of you were part of it, and now 20 years have gone by, and I realize there's a hole in there where y'all used to be. If we all met in one giant room, let's face it, the first hour or so would be awkward as hell. Little pods of us that have kept in touch would gravitate to each other, and instead of the 40 folks who would decend on the campus center, there would 12 groups of 3 and a few of us sitting uncomfortably alone. All our conversations would start with "sooo.... how have hhe last 20 years treated you?"

  Of course, if Spock had been in the room, we'd all be doing something stupid within 10 minutes, and it all would have been fine. That was his gift. And no matter how far we've all gone our separate ways, the world will be that little bit colder now.

  Peace: Grot/Dave/mail atsign nadigdotcom

  Posted by: grot on September 09, 2006 at 09:02 PM

• John was always just a fun guy to be around. I'm pretty sure it was he and Steve Halpin who got into a tickle fight that wound up crashing into a full fish-tank. He started the one major food-fight I've ever been in at a public restaurant, it's a wonder we didn't get arrested.

  At the beginning of 1986, people voted for various made-up awards for members of our community. Here's what John received:

  Charisma-man of Cyber Most Relied Upon Most likely to be PWAH!ed for a McManus run-Spock (et le Starship Dodge) Best Arbitrator Best At Helping With Problems Most Uplifting Daintiest Most Feminine Cigarette Smoking Movements.

  Simply put, everybody liked John. He encouraged you to be true to yourself, not worry about tomorrow and enjoy the moment. The world desperately needs people like that. I'll always think of John when I see the sign for Dover, MA.

  Mitch/Rodmdickerman at gmaildotcom

  Posted by: rod_serling on September 09, 2006 at 09:23 PM

• 
  I guess I was one of the lucky ones who knew John pretty well in the early days. John and I ran the first "Pwah!" mission to get milk crates for him to move out of his dorm room in Spring 1985. That night we got 19 milk crates (stored them in my dorm room, woke up my roommate loading them in!) and a couch. The couch is the more interesting part.

  John taught me to drive, in both the Starship Dodge and the Fiat. I remember when we were in the Fiat and I wasn't doing too well since it was a stick, and John told me to get out of the car and look into the vents just under the windshield wiper fluid spitters. I looked in, squinting, and saw a bumper sticker that read, "Are we having fun yet?" John just laughed in that way he had and took a drag from his cigarette.

  I am pretty sure I was even with John during the aforementioned mission to bug Neil at work. John showed up at my house one night and said we had a mission. We didn't know Neil worked "for a distributor of the Boston Globe", so we first went into Dorchester to the Boston Globe headquarters, and they pointed us to the place on the South Shore where Neil actually worked. This probably coincided with John teaching me to drive the Fiat.

  Then of course there were the various McManus runs in the middle of the night, which reminds you just how tough it is to find an all-night place out there. I wish I could remember them better, but the middle of the night isn't the best time for forming long-term memories. But I remember they were a lot of fun.

  I think of John whenever I hear "Urgent" by Foreigner - it was like a theme song for him. He often had the boombox in his car cued to it waiting for just the right time. Sometimes the right time was just cruising through some small town in the middle of the night on the way back to Amherst.

  John always seemed to see the best in everyone, and every situation, which is certainly something to strive for.

  Ted/Kismet
  tcorning at comcast.net

  Posted by: tcorning on September 09, 2006 at 11:49 PM

• Too many - the Yamaha from hell that we assembled down to the last bold in my garage -broke off the stud and tore it all out of the frame and did it all on a new frame in 30 minutes...

  The starship (if you have to ask...) in my garage kitty-corner because it wouldn't fit any other way as we did a front brake/rotor job on it in mid-winter...

  And the computer center --- "What does THIS button do?"

  Damn. There's gonna be a big hole in the world...
  Peter deFriesse

  Posted by: regnad on September 10, 2006 at 02:58 AM

• As many other posters have indicated there are so many
  stories to post about John. To this day I still chuckle about his cleaning
  techniques.

   Brian:
  "John lets go brew some beer"

  John: "Need to clean the house"

   Brian:
  "Sigh ok"

  John brings in leaf blower and opens front door, blows all
  the the dirt out.

  John: "All clean lets go brew
  some beer"

   

  John's other events that make me laugh is how he forgot
  about his potato in the microwave. I think he wanted to find out the explosion point
  for the potato. To this day I think the show Mythbusters
  was based off of John Ponte's antics.

  
  Finally, helping John and Mike Nagle
  remove some fence posts via his "little pickup". He tied a
  chain around the posts and pulled. To this day I have never seen Mike Nagle
  wife go from calm to enrage so quickly. I was thoroughly impressed albeit not
  all parties that day were ;)

   

  John we fell out of contact but in the short period of time
  that we knew you, you left a life time of memories. We do miss you!

   

  Brian/Deb

  
  

  Posted by: bcinque on September 10, 2006 at 05:51 AM

• I was very fortunate to know John through the years - I spoke to him last in July as he was helping me remotely diagnose whether or not I had blown a head-gasket in my Saturn. "Do you see any Chocolate Milk???"

  
  One of John's many gifts was his ability to find fun and humor in any situation as a way of connecting to the world, and he brought everyone he met some happiness as he did so. There's a lot I want to remember and preserve about John (including one of his favorite pictures), and its going to take time to write. Knowing John's sense of humor, I think he'd prefer any kind of memorial to be punctuated with the humor and smiles he brought to so many people. So this one's for you, John...

  
  Requiem For A Baghead

  
  - Jim/The Shadow
  

  Posted by: jsbelfiore on September 10, 2006 at 08:37 AM

• Wow reading these over brings back so many memories!!!!

  I so remember Peanut butter pizza

  
  Receiving a bag of black powder in the mail... with nothing but a note saying spaghetti sauce

  
  Exploding Toilets

  
  Heating your Apartment with the steam from the shower

  
  Spock finding so many of the props for Rocky

  
  So many memories. The world isn’t quite as bright without him in it.
  

  Posted by: hawk35 on September 10, 2006 at 11:45 AM

• Just because reading these has made me think of more, and more, and more....fixing the mini-buses for Community Homes, in February, in the dark and freezing cold. PWAH runs of all kinds. (I still have some of those milk crates, 20 years later. How messed up is that?) Evil Vulcan Cleanser. (Kids, don't try this at home!).

  More recent memories - bathtub sized martini glasses. His unwavering hospitality.

  I have no photos of him, though. Not one. If anyone can rectify this, send me email at alyxx at pantherhawk.net.

  Also, Nick (Shadowspawn), Jeremy (Frodo) and I (Archer) will be meeting at a local pub tonight, 7:30 - 8:00ish PST, to hoist a few in his memory. If you are in Seattle, feel free to join us at the Kells. If you are elsewhere, lift a glass at the same time, please, if you can?

  Thanks.

  Baghead, you might be gone, but you will never be forgotten. You are the big brother/bad influence/best friend that we all needed, and I am only sad that we weren't there when you clearly needed us.

  Does that thing really have a sewing machine engine?

  Posted by: epanther on September 10, 2006 at 12:47 PM

• 2am. Orchard Hill P-lot. My car is dead as a stone, which for my car isn't unusual. This guy I barely know from the computer says he's gonna fix it. No problem. So we wire it up to the Starship. Boom! Sparks fly everywhere. The cables turn red hot. My battery starts spewing gas.

  John yanks the cables off, leaps in the Starship and throws it into reverse. We both stand away and watch the acid gas slowly ooze from my battery.

  We've almost destroyed both cars. Including. I mean. It's the Starship. So what's the reaction?

  We laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. We laugh the next day. The next week. The next year. And when I finally caught up with him last year, we laughed about it some more. That's my image of John. Laughing at the absurdity of it all.

  Kathy formerly Lew aka Lerrys/Argrath Dragonspear of confer, kathygnome at kathygnomedotcom

  Posted by: kathygnome on September 10, 2006 at 01:36 PM

• Photos: I have a couple - just two, maybe three - will scan and post a link...

  Peter
  

  Posted by: regnad on September 10, 2006 at 01:44 PM

• I had the extreme fortune of living next door to John the past several years. Since both he and I worked at home and tended to bury ourselves in our computer rooms, I probably never got to know him as well as most of you - my loss - and certainly never saw the John who dumped flour over your head or gave you a shower with a garden hose in the middle of the kitchen. He was a wonderful neighbor and a good friend, always helping me and my 2 kids with whatever we asked, and more.

  He taught my son how to drive a stick shift - not in the legendary Fiat, but is his most recent mode of transportion, a Ford F150.

  Thank you all for your commentaries, which have comforted me and I am sure will do the same for his family. I will make sure they see this, and will try to find some way to "include" those of you who cannot come to the memorial in that service.

  Posted by: sisele on September 10, 2006 at 02:46 PM

• Photos (That was quick):

  Oddly, despite my reputation back then, NONE of these photos are shot by me.

  As far as I know the first time John ever went to Colorado was for the wedding of Peter Krotkov and Amanda Faut. The "InTux" shots are from that trip at that wedding.

  The garage shot was made by Janice when John showed up during one of my FreeBSD installations on "new" hardware. He made many helpful suggestions, but as I had no explosives I was unable to implement them.

  The lawnchair shot was shortly afterward when we decided if explosives were not available, we'd hit the next best thing -- the beer supply...

  I'm VERY lazy now that I've retired from Hell (also known as OIT) so this is a simple dirlist:

  http://www.people.umass.edu/peter/Spock/

  [Editors note: the photo above is a link from Peter's collection. Thanks!]

  Peter pdefriesse{at}yahoo.com
  

  Posted by: regnad on September 10, 2006 at 03:05 PM

• Nick, Jeremy, and I are planning to fly out for the memorial. I've spoken to Jay (John's brother) once, briefly, and he said "midweek" - if anyone has more complete information, please let me know ASAP so I can grab plane tickets.

  Thanks

  Alyxx

  Posted by: epanther on September 10, 2006 at 04:13 PM

• I woke John up - not hard to do when you sleep 22 hours per day - late one Wednesday and told him he was needed urgently to be best man at a wedding in Boulder - the following Friday. A quick call to Regnad to borrow plane fare and he showed up at our place wearing full Vulcan attire, including the ears, in plenty of time for the wedding. Not long after that adventure he moved to Boulder and occupied the living room for a good long time.

  This morning I remembered these very Ponte-like adventures:

  the story of him cleaning the toilet with EVC when the Lizard King flicked a burning butt into it
  cleaning toasters in the shower. He later found that inconvenient and switched to using the dishwasher
  the folks at Head Sports were much to dreary so he began the morning ritual of dumping the left over decaf, replacing it with the sludge from the previous night's regular coffee, and firing up the burner. Very much a Spock maneuver.
  in either the shuttle craft (the fiat) or Regnad's old 626 we would go out for a drive. He'd roll down the windows, blast 'Big Bottom', and operate the windshield wipers continuously. For unknown reasons he found it fascinating to fill the wiper reservoir with French Whore perfume, whatever that was. Folks sure noticed.
  Yodapete at nic.umass.edu

  Posted by: yoda_umass on September 10, 2006 at 04:49 PM

• Update from Colorado -
  The memorial is early Thursday morning.

  Posted by: epanther on September 10, 2006 at 04:55 PM

• I never knew John very well, but he was nothing if not memorable. When I first showed up on Confer, he was one of the ones who went out of his way to make this clueless dweeb feel welcome. I remember hearing about his struggle with depression, and finding that an interesting contrast with his outwardly happy-go-lucky nature.
  I don't think I've really thought about him since leaving the Valley, but now, hearing these stories again 20 years later, I miss him.
  Farewell, Spock-wad.
  ...
  -Chip Olson (Castellan).
  ceo at thsi dot org
  http://ceo.livejournal.com

  Posted by: chipo on September 10, 2006 at 05:03 PM

• Damn, I almost forgot the gravy. Jim and I used to have a bunch of people over for dinner every year on Xmas day (The Dinner for Misfit Toys, naturally). One year, we ran out of gravy for the turkey. Not to worry, John was there. He raided every cupboard and every nook of the fridge for anything brown that would pour or melt that we could put in the gravy pan. When he added the bottle of Guinness, it was just right.....

  - Johnna
  jyklukas at virgil dot com
  http://www.jykboxes.com

  Posted by: jyklukas on September 10, 2006 at 05:12 PM

• Neal said I have to post this one:

  I don't remember what scheme John had come up with this particular day, but I said "John, you have lost all remaining marbles!!!"

  John just grinned that grin at me and ran out the kitchen door. I followed, afraid of what he might get up to. He ran out to the garage, opened the driver's side door of the Starship, reached under the seat, and ... you guessed it - pulled out a bag of marbles. "See? said John, "I know exactly where my marbles are!"

  Only John would have thought to have his marbles so conveniently at hand for just such an occassion.

  Posted by: kitiara on September 10, 2006 at 07:47 PM

• As noted above, John could always be counted on to help. He was also pretty good at getting other people to help him...

  Which is how I wound up helping Doug "Jim the Lizard King" move back to southeastern Massachusetts one afternoon. John simply arrived and announced that we had a mission.

  I missed the part where he should have mentioned that he wasn't coming along.... I really didn't know Doug all that well before that two and a half hour (each way) trip.

  -Neal

  Posted by: corum on September 10, 2006 at 08:01 PM

• What a loss for all of us, and what a sad way for us to find each other
  again. In many ways john/spock managed to provide a locus for
  our community. That he manages to do so in both death and life says
  much about the people that met him along the way.

  I'm more than glad to merely remember him for his willingness
  to take time out of his life to help us newbies find our
  way around umass and elsewhere.

  Posted by: craighagan on September 10, 2006 at 08:02 PM

• I didn't know John that well, but I remember him as a funny, cool guy.
  Twenty years after I first showed up at UMass, I now work there
  (yikes!) and every time I find myself in the Blue Wall I think back
  on the old coffee breaks and wonder what became of all those old
  friends; this wasn't, alas, what I'd hoped to hear. This is very
  sorry news indeed. )-:

  -suzanne
  (at chem.umass.edu)

  Posted by: argus_in_those_days on September 10, 2006 at 08:14 PM

• John and I went to the same high school (Dover Sherborn Regional), though John was several years older than me, and I didn’t know him in hs, I did know his younger brother, Jay. As a newbie freshman at Mt. Holyoke I, naively, thought that high school was far away and no one would know me there. Imagine my surprise, shortly after discovering confer, having someone verify he was, in fact, from DS by providing the students’ nickname for the vice principal! That’s how I met John.

  I didn’t know John as well as some of you, and wasn’t a part of the cyber crew for long, but I still have some milk crates John helped me acquire too! Those suckers are too useful to get rid of! I swear that for the longest time I didn’t really know (or want to believe) that taking milk crates was illegal. Yes, despite the notice printed right ON the milk crate!

  And I remember that gravy! I was just thinking about that!

  Someone said that John kept in touch with everyone and brought people together. This is definitely NOT one of my strengths. I can’t think of a better way to honor his memory (other than going on a PWAH run for milk crates) than to get back in touch with old friends, both in and out of this community. I have already started reaching out to old friends.

  Thanks for everything, John. You are dear and will be missed.

  Heather (Carrie)
  hcoon at wideopenwest dot com
  

  Posted by: hcoon on September 10, 2006 at 09:17 PM

• I remember going to the Northampton DPW for my license test to drive a bus, which was taken in one of the green and orange UMass school buses which the PVTA used to teach drivers. One of the other drivers was a guy I sometimes talked to waiting for chem lab in the morning. After we both passed the test, I started talking with him the next time I saw him in the hall waiting for the lab to open, thinking it cool that we now knew each other as drivers as well as engineering students.

  "Hold on, I need some nicotine..." as he reached into a pocket for a Camel. He contemplated it for a moment, then ripped off the filter. Once he'd had a drag off it he visibly relaxed. "So, do you ever use 'confer'?"
  "Yep"
  He grins. "Hi, I'm Spock."
  "Hi, I'm Axeman." and we laughed like crazy at the weird synchronicity of it all.

  From then on every time I saw his typed out "Flick...Puff...Ahhhh" I always stopped to wonder if he'd stopped to tear off the filter first.
  --Glenn

  Posted by: glyford on September 10, 2006 at 09:23 PM

• There is so much to remember, and so many people posting comments here that I'd make myself.

  I met John online first, when I was using Twinkle (chat program that preceeded Confer), and eventually in person when I was out visiting UMass Amherst.

  I had a lot to learn about life when living around Amherst, and as funny and prank-filled as he was, John also filled the role of big brother to me for a while.

  It's because of him that I fix my own cars as much as possible, and because of him that I ride and fix a motorcycle.

  I keep a version of Evil Vulcan Cleaner under the sink.

  Once, we were on some mission, starting the drive from Boston back to Amherst, and had stopped for gas for the Starship. We were about to climb into the car, and he looked at me, said "I'm tired", and held up the keys. I didn't get it. He said "You're driving. I'm tired." My brain boggled; this was a level of trust that I had done nothing to earn (and probably quite a lot to never earn)... That drive is something of a blur; I was trying to be careful, John was either cranking the music up louder, urging me to go faster ("Go on! Push down on the gas or I'm putting my foot over there and pushing down on it for you!"), grabbing the wheel and shaking it, or telling jokes and trying to get me to crack up laughing. I'm surprised we arrived alive, in one piece, and unticketed.

  As with us all, I will greatly miss him from this world.

  joelll (at genericdomain.net)

  Posted by: joelll on September 10, 2006 at 10:12 PM

• Here's a picture I took of John while we were still at UMass together. I remember him telling me that of all the places he'd worked on campus, he never felt more comfortable and content than when he would spend time at the stables taking care of the horses. He was happiest when he got the rare opportunity to ride, and I happened to come across him during a winter day, when he had 'borrowed' a moment with the mounted division of the Boston Police who were getting ready for a patrol at the Quabbin.

  - Jim/The Shadow (jsb at virgil dot com)
  

  Posted by: jsbelfiore on September 10, 2006 at 11:43 PM

• One story John himself told me about was installing a telephone in the oven in his apartment in Sunderland...so he could have a "hot line". Maybe someone reading this can fill in the details. Something also about mounting the couch half-way up the wall...

  I'm overjoyed at the outpouring of stories and thoughts here. Many of us haven't seen each other for nearly twenty years. I got together with Nick, Alyxx and Jeremy tonight. It's good to meet again. Really good.

  I will be attending the memorial service in Colorado. If anyone needs help with anything in regard to it, just ask.

  Tim aka Kablosna Phantax
  tboudreau at sun dot com

  Posted by: timboudreau on September 11, 2006 at 12:03 AM

• As the others I have many stories about John....

  I *still* have some of the milk crates he pwahed.

  Last week I heard "Shout" by Tears for Fears.. that song always reminds me of the times John was driving for PVTA . He would crank that song and it seemed the whole bus would get into it.

  I havent seen John or any of you in over a decade. This sad news really shook me. John was a good man, always ready to help, and always making life interesting.

  Ellen/Natural Log
  natural_log at verizon dot net

  Posted by: naturallog on September 11, 2006 at 05:30 AM

• Very sad news indeed. John was a good friend, as well as source of mischeif and inspiration. He was the only person I have ever known who could catch a steel pot on fire whilest trying to boil water. John appeared in my life at a time when a dear friend from the old "CONFER" days had passed away. "CONFER" UMASS' early chat application. The funny part was, that most of the people using the old InfoTON 100 terminals in either the library or Grad Center were sitting within eyesite while using the system :-) A short story: John's FIAT was deader than a doornail at his place in Conway. I came over to assist in a "carbuerator"ectomy. After a couple of hours of painstaking diagnosis., John decides place the air-filter back on the top of the carb and procedes to douse the paper element with about about a pint of ether. He then has me turn the igniton and "pow" you could have heard the backfire and seen the flame from South Deerfield. After a couple of beers and some thought and possibly some spray-paint, it turns out he had a cracked distributor cap instead. Anyhow, John could always provide a smile when you were down, and thought not of his own wants. He will be missed. Matt Deloia (Hodge Podge)

  Posted by: ratrig on September 11, 2006 at 05:41 AM

• Wow.
  Now that I see your names, I have really begun to miss you guys.
  I wonder if this isnt a good time to think about planning some kind of reunion? Maybe in a year or 2 years time we would all have the money to travel to meet up...maybe John would have been amused by that.

  just an idea.....

  Posted by: gemi9 on September 11, 2006 at 07:14 AM

• So many things have been posted already, I have little to add.

  John taught me that everything could be fixed with duct tape, that even a bath tub could be set on fire, that umbrellas are meant to hold confetti, and that every thing (EVERY THING) can be made funny if you try - there is humor in every situation.

  I met John through Confer in 1985. He was one of my dearest friends for the next 21 years and will be with me always. He was the truest kind of friend.

  Every time I flew through Denver, John was there to greet me at the airport, even if only for minutes. Every time I received a cigar in the mail I knew that John had gotten a promotion or a new/better job. John threatened me with Captain Underpants gifts for my kids. I couldn't wait.

  I really love John. He will be sorely missed. But he would love the gift he gave us all. In his death, he brought us back together.

  Julie (Hansen) Balch - EVITA

  Posted by: jbalch66 on September 11, 2006 at 07:56 AM

• Neal, Ryan and I will be flying to Colorado...

  Posted by: kitiara on September 11, 2006 at 09:06 AM

• Wish I could--but my heart is there.

  Posted by: gemi9 on September 11, 2006 at 10:06 AM

• I'd love to hear more about what John was doing after college. I lost touch with him around 1985, but he has the distinction of being the last guy I dated before I started dating the guy I married (Hawkmoon.) I had a rule that I wouldn't date guys who smoked but I broke it for Spock. :-)

  Wendy
  Dally at Myself Dot Com

  Posted by: gwendal on September 11, 2006 at 10:57 AM

• Mandy here (yes, Peter K's first wife). I won't be making the memorial - I went back to grad school and am currently in medical school (yes, to be a real doctor). Gross anatomy doesn't stop for anything. I think John would understand.

  John came to my second wedding as well. After the ceremony, my husband and I went to get into the limosine to ride to the reception - and the limo was dead. In true Ponte fashion (yes, we have pictures), John drove his car onto the old historic church lawn and jump-started the limosine. While he was in a suit. No shit.

  A bright burning flame in a world of darkness has been extinguished when John left this earth. He was a beacon of kindness, laughter, humility, and friendship. Let me know if there is a memorial fund in his name. I'll burn a pot of spaghetti sauce in his honor this weekend.

  -Mandy (Nyssa/Pearls)

  Posted by: remembercampbell on September 11, 2006 at 12:30 PM

• One other thing ----

  I distinctly remember riding the bus routes when John was driving with "classical gas" and "long cool woman in a black dress" playing full blast. I still think of him when I hear those two songs.

  Posted by: remembercampbell on September 11, 2006 at 12:33 PM

• Damn....by all the gods above this truly sucks beyond suckage. John was a great friend, bent over backwards to do anything to cheer you up. I will always remember how he smoked multiple cigs when he was upset. I will also always remember the 1st Rocky Horror Picture Show liveshow cast party at his apartment....how many people can one fit in a shower indeed. Having been working in the human services field with psychotropic medications for 19 years I have an inkling of what he was going through and the things those medications do to you. However he was always a trooper, I never heard him complain about it. John was one of many who reached out to a young, clueless (yeah I admit it), geeky kid who never fit in anywhere and brought him into an eclectic, dynamic, and sometimes manic crowd of people all of whom changed my life. I wish I had the money to come to Colorado for the memorial service, would love to see all of you again and pay my deepest respects to John. I hadn't seen him in a LONG time, and I wish that I had.....I think he would have been surprised, as I look NOTHING like what I did at UMass, just ask Neal/Corum. John was a great friend, a great person, and a truly bright spirit. I never heard anyone say a bad word about him. I will miss you Spock, and hope to meet you again someday.....until then, Live Long In The Light And Prosper........and at the next metal show I am at I will do some headbanging for ya, I think you'd be amused at that. :-)

  Jan Novak (aka Elric/Logan)
  jmnovak at hotmail dot com
  

  Posted by: xhaosdaemon on September 11, 2006 at 12:45 PM

• This is one of the last emails that John had sent me. (Madeline is my 10 year old daughter)

  
  From: ponte [at] indra.com
  Subject: The Plan!
  Date: June 20, 2006 9:41:23 AM PDT
  To: sam.woolsey [at] gmail.com

  
  Ok! Here's the plan:

  1. Invite Madeline to come visit in Los Angeles.

  2. Take her shopping on Rodeo Drive.

  3. Go to an upscale clothing store. (The kind that has an
  attendant for the fitting room.

  4. Have Madeline pick out an item, and go to the fitting room.

  5. Wait 3-4 minutes.

  6. Have Madeline yell, "Hey Dad! I'm in trouble! There's no
  toilet paper in here!"

  7. Photograph the expression on the attendant's face and send
  it to me.

  Posted by: sandealer on September 11, 2006 at 03:11 PM

• Just a few of the things I learned/experienced with my friend John.

  • He taught me how to return something borrowed in better shape than when I received it.
  • He taught me how to save money and organize my finances.
  • He taught my 7 year old daughter how to flick peas properly at the dinner table.
  • He taught me that the proper instructional video for ANY plumbing project is “A Plumbing We Will Go” by The Three Stooges.
  • He taught me how to fix a corn stove.
  • He opened me up to the wonderful world of Unix.
  • He taught me how to cook healthy food.
  • He taught me that fixing a toilet can only be done properly after at least 3 pints of beer.
  • He taught me how to plant a garden.
  • He taught me that you can figure out just about anything with enough time and persistence.
  • He taught me that whoopi cushion’s really do have a place in the workplace.
  • He taught me how to make Kitty Litter Cake.
  • He taught me how to vacuum the house with a leaf blower.
  • He showed me how many Qualcomm sys admin’s would fit into a VW Bug.
  • He showed me some of the most beautiful hiking spots on the Front Range.
  • He showed me how to make a “Perfect Martini”.
  • He taught me (through his own actions) how rewarding it is to lend a helping hand, no matter the size of the task.
  • He once bought me an honorary Sys Admin “propeller” hat.
  • He introduced my child to the wonderful teachings (which only brought dismay to the grandparents) of Captain Underpants. And he was Oh-So-Pleased to learn that “Squishy’s” ACTUALLY work. (ref: Captain Underpants)
  • He taught me not to worry too much when every one of my conversations with him started out with phrases like “We need to leave the State”, “We’re gonna be in so much trouble”, “Do you have backup funds for bail money?”.
  • He taught me how to turn a used toilet into someone’s office chair... TWICE!.
  • He taught me and my daughter how to launch Krispy Kreme’s with the water balloon launcher.
  • He taught me how NOT to get banned from entering my friends house with power tools.
  • He taught me how to catch some air by launching an F250 longbed over speed humps at 65mph.

  Most importantly, he taught me how to teach myself and how important it is to pass that knowledge on to the next generation.

  I’m really going to miss him. After reading all these stories, I’m even more validated in my thoughts that John’s spirit will live in this world for many a year to come. He touched the lives of so many people and for him touching mine, I’m eternally grateful.

  When I get back to LA, I’m eating at Paco’s Taco’s when I land. And for those coming to CO, if you have time, there is a Paco’s Taco’s in Idaho Springs (about 45min west of Denver on I-70) (John Frequently answered the phone as Paco himself.)

  Posted by: sandealer on September 11, 2006 at 03:19 PM

• Thank you John for teaching me that golf is a lot more fun when played with a can of spam - rather than a golf ball.

  Posted by: andymontana on September 11, 2006 at 03:24 PM

• I attempted to write some comments but I think I timed out talking to another friend of John's, Paul Krueger here in Colorado.

  I met John after he left Head Sports and joined Coral Systems. He had the Mazda about a week there before it got totalled. I lent him my car during that time to do some errands and that is how our friendship started. He returned the car with the gas tank full by the way.

  I got my first unix computer from John. He fished an old decommissioned sun server it out of a closet at Coral. I spent many a late night in that place with him.

  He bought a Bronco after the Mazda. It was a real turd and he poured money into it if I recall correctly. When he finally did start making some cash he leased and then bought the F150.

  We did alot of house moving in that F150. I think John probably moved everyone he knew in Colorado.

  We brewed beer together for a while and we persuaded him to spend come over to our house during the holidays for dinner. He did not celebrate the Hall Mark holidays.

  One of my memorable stories of John is he helped me to pull some old fence posts out in my second house. I was a bit naive and let him help. He pulled the first fence stump out with his Mustang and I had already worked on that stump so it came out easily. The second one was more tricky so he went for the truck. It shot out of the ground like a missile and proceeded down the good part of the fence smashing fence posts and pickets before stopping a couple of feet from my new installed air conditioner. He thought that was so funny. My wife was pissed. We now had 5 sections of fence to fix instead of 2. We were supervised after that. In John fashion he said we were a pint low so after calling in some additional troops and drinking alot of beer we fixed everything.

  He also retrieved a toilet from me so if some former sun employees were the benefericies of a joke with that, you now know where it came from.

  I also was a recipient of the Captain Underpants collection, the Gargoyles a gag on Hear no Evil, See no Evil etc. In this case however one has his finger in his ass, one in his ear and the other with his finger in his nose.

  When my son was born, John gave him a present of condoms, cigarettes and Jack Daniels.

  After reading the blog, I have learnt more about John. He never discussed his depression but I had figured it out a long time ago although it is now only being confirmed for me.

  I think he is free now.

  Posted by: mnagle on September 11, 2006 at 03:37 PM

• Unfortunately I didn't know John well at UMass, but I do remember when he paid Graham Mitchell (Loki / Locarai) and I a visit in our apartment in Dedham MA in 1992. He taught us how to make beer battered seafood, then said his doctor had declared him disabled due to his depression, next he spoke of skinnydipping in the ocean with some girl he had just met, and ended with him ordering Graham to repeatedly punch him in the stomach as hard as he could, which Graham did. John didn't even flinch, he had a stomach of steel then.

  Andy Steinberg / Professor Nutto
  andy at research dot umass dot edu
  South Hadley MA

  Posted by: afnaste on September 11, 2006 at 03:47 PM

• Neal & I would like to suggest a Coffee Break at the Blue Wall, the Sunday of Columbus Day weekend. It seems somehow fitting, as so many of us have memories of him there...

  Posted by: kitiara on September 11, 2006 at 07:22 PM

• I met John a couple of years back while he was working at a startup company. I was working at a sister company and we had the opportunity to work together on a few small projects. The work went quickly but we spent hours just talking.

  We talked about ourselves, of course, but John also regaled me with tales of his pranks over the years (many of which have already been written about here). He was proud of them, and well he should be, given how elaborate some of them were.

  We also talked about his time at Qualcomm and Sun and how much he enjoyed the jobs and people.

  Unfortunately, there were problems at the startup where John was working and John left. I didn't see him again. For as short of a time as I knew him, I got to know him pretty well--or so I thought. I wish I had gotten to know him even better. He never mentioned the depression, for example. He was always upbeat and positive regardless of the circumstances surrounding his job.

  I didn't know him long and he made a great impression on me. I can only imagine how much he meant to those of you he knew for years.

  Posted by: glhines on September 11, 2006 at 08:12 PM

• What does THIS BUTTON do?!?!?!

  I am deeply saddened by the loss of John, while we had drifted apart and lost touch he touch me perhaps more profoundly than almost anyone I have known. To this day I have not met anyone who is more unconditionally accepting and giving. John as a few other people have noted would do anything for anyone at anytime, this was true for a total stranger and even truer for those of us lucky enough to call him a friend.

  He taught me many of the most important lessons of my life, things that I use to this day. The first is that Anything is possible, the second is that life is FUN. So ever since graduating (which often seemed impossible) I have been able to accomplish many impossible things and still have fun. I also learned how to fix anything with WD-40, Duct Tape, Hammer, Screw driver, and a Pipe wrench. I've since added a cordless drill but I only use that sparingly.

  Looking around my life I see traces of John around my life even though its been over 10 years since we last talked, I still cook with mixing bowls and a food processor he gave me, I read occasionally with a lamp that used to be his. I still have a bunch of milk crates in my attic filled with stuff from UMASS that he helped me acquire.

  Today - 9/11 and living in NY near the city 5 years after that tragic day, it was already a day filled with reflection, introspection, and hope tinged with sadness. That sadness was deepened when I got a call out of the blue from Daphne (Jen) and I learned about John's Tragic Death. That deep sadness is also tinged with joy at the memories of his life, those we knew and the good times we shared. Reading this blog has taken me back, helped me have a good cry and reconnect with John's memory.

  Thanks to Tim for Starting this, Steve and Jay for reaching out to so many, To Jen for Tracking me down, for everyone for sharing their memories and most importantly for John for sharing his life so fully with so many of us.

  I have only a few regrets, but one of them is letting myself loose touch with John. While John's Death leaves a deep hole in my heart and the world. Please join me helping to fill it with a little love. Be nice a stranger at least once every day. Give your shirt off your back to help someone if for no other reason than because you can. LIVE Life.. Have FUN.. Take Chances.. and most importantly find out what that Button Does. -- Live Long and Prosper

  Finally my condolences his family. We shared paths for only a few years but he was like a brother, a dear friend, and will be missed.

  Andy Seward aka Grundig
  sewarda at gmail dot com

  Posted by: grundig on September 11, 2006 at 08:46 PM

• btw.. as much as I would like I can't make it out to CO but am very interested in a Gathering....

  Andy

  Posted by: grundig on September 11, 2006 at 08:48 PM

• I first met John when he interviewed for a position in my team at Sun. He showed up wearing jeans cutoffs and an old rugby shirt. I was a little shocked and surprised when I first saw him. No way would I recommend hiring someone that would dress like that for an interview!

  10 minutes into the interview, I was sold. We had to get him in!

  John referred to his F150 truck as "the little pickup." He helped me moved with it and taught me how to drive a stick in his neighborhood.

  Joel Duval, a sysadmin at Sun (last I know...) was the actual recipient of the office "toilet" chair. It did stay at his cubicle for a while. Who knows where it is now though...

  John would be a perpetual prankster. He always threatened to give his friends kids "sugar coated sugar bombs". You did have to look for whoopie cushions before sitting down. He even convinced me to help him unplug the christmas lights at the corner of 120th avenue and Interlocken Blvd (I think...) after a late evening of troubleshooting internal Sun systems.

  Other things that I learned from John:

  How to make a perfect martini
  How to properly label cables at both ends.
  A 19" server cabinet going downhill on Main Street can be very, very fast.
  The BRM04 server room corridor is perfect for bowling
  Doing donuts in the parking lot is OK. Doing donuts on a busy street isn't.
  You can make Sunray terminals sing "Kyle's mom... in D minor" in unison.
  Smoke detectors can be used as kitchen timers.

  
  I will miss him dearly, but seeing him remembered here is a comfort.

  Frederic Jean
  fred at fredjean dot net
  

  Posted by: fredjean on September 11, 2006 at 09:41 PM

• I found this card while I was looking through some old pictures I hadn't looked at in years. I learned a lot at the five colleges, but International Auto was another school tucked away where John held his own classes. It was the garage where he traded his skills for a set of tools and a place to park the Starship Dodge.

  
  I used to drive Honda Accords in college which were notoriously expensive to maintain. Up until I met John, I had never worked on a car. One time I had serious rear-brake problems and the estimate I got from Northampton Honda was way beyond what I could stomach on a student budget. John stepped in and told me that I was going to take just a little bit of the money from the estimate, and from then on, always buy the Chilton and Haynes books for any car I ever owned. The Haynes book in particular was useful because it was written from the perspective of a total tear-down and rebuild. The rest of the cash would be split between parts, and beer.

  
  With the Haynes guide, John taught me how to take apart the rear drum brakes, resurface the drums, attach new pads, bleed and reset the master cylinder, clean, unstick and resurrect the butterfly auto-adjusters, re-tension the emergency brake cables, and most important of all, show me from the Haynes book that there was supposed to be a 50-cent rubber plug in the back of each drum that kept excess moisture and road grime from getting into the drum and prematurely corroding the whole works. That plug was missing on both sides when we worked on my brakes that Saturday afternoon. He made me buy a bag of those 50-cent plugs and told me to check the rear side of the drums every time I took the car back to a Honda dealer for any kind of service. Sure enough, the next time I did (for something completely unrelated to brakes), the plugs were gone when I got the car back - so I replaced them. When I took the car to a different Honda dealer for other non-brake service, the plugs would disappear again, so I'd replace them again.

  
  John spent 8 hours with me that day, patiently teaching me how to work with tools and not be afraid to tackle automotive tasks if I had the right guidebooks and a decent garage. We got the brakes fixed, and I was prouder of that accomplishment than some of the school tasks for that year. Even now, 20 years later, when cars are way more complicated and require certification and special computers to handle the many diagnostic systems, I always keep copies of the Chilton and Haynes books at the ready to make sure I can have a more informed conversation with shop mechanics.

  
  Thanks again, John.

  Posted by: jsbelfiore on September 11, 2006 at 09:43 PM

• Had to laugh....

  Last night I was taking down the boxes from that attic with
  all the baby stuff. Found the baby toys box and was going through it and sure
  enough we found Captain Underpants. It survived a round in the washer machine,
  so it will be the first toy I give my son when he is born next month...

  
  My lil one won't get the gift of a
  pack of camels, nip of Jack, and some condems but he
  will have Captain Underpants!!

  
  brian.cinque
  at cinquefamily dot com

  
  

  Posted by: bcinque on September 12, 2006 at 05:52 AM

• Craig Hagan and I are trying to get any friends of John's that are still residing in the New England area together for a beer or two sometime this week. If you're interested please drop me an email. Thanks. -Matt (ratrig at comcast dot net)
  

  Posted by: ratrig on September 12, 2006 at 05:53 AM

• John appears in some of the old cyber/confer stories at http://47d.org/~seven/funlib/

  Posted by: afnaste on September 12, 2006 at 06:00 AM

• I thought some folks might appreciate this, or not, but there it is:

  http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/node/27014

  Some of y'all will know who this is, some won't. That's OK.

  Posted by: therabbit on September 12, 2006 at 06:08 AM

• I met John in 1995, when he and my husband worked for a small computer startup in Longmont, CO. One of our earliest experiences with John was car related. We had a 20 year-old Saab 900 Turbo. When smoke started coming out of the vents, we called John for help. He showed up in a flash and they set to work. When they were finished, there were a few "extra" parts. He said "not to worry, if the car starts without them, then they not important." Sure enough, the car started up, and in fact, ran for years after that without those "extra" parts.

  I think the "fence incident" has been mentioned a few times above. It was my fence, and I was the enraged wife. In hindsight, its hilarious, but I was a bit peeved at the time. After that incident, John was banned for the house if he was in possession of power tools.

  Memorable Quotes:

  If you double the temperature, you halve the cooking time.
  You're not cooking unless you set off the smoke alarm.
  There's a power tool for that job.
  A little Roundup will take care of that.
  We're a pint low.
  It wasn't me, it was a Colorado Barking Spider.
  I've got some Dynamite for that problem.
  Go to your room until you're 21 (to my teenage son).

  
  John was a joker, but when things got serious you could always count on him. When my father passed, John was the first person we called. He house-sat for us, took care of the cat, and had the fridge stocked when we returned.

  He was a true friend.
  

  Posted by: seasick67 on September 12, 2006 at 06:45 AM

• Kitiara wrote: "Neal & I would like to suggest a Coffee Break at the Blue Wall, the Sunday of Columbus Day weekend. It seems somehow fitting, as so many of us have memories of him there..."

  That sounds GREAT, would anyone be coming from the Boston area?, I don t have a car..
  Drop me a line at Geminitrader at Yahoo dot com

  Posted by: gemi9 on September 12, 2006 at 06:55 AM

• 
  What can I say about John that most of you dont know already. He was kind, warm and very funny. There was always a word of encouragement when you were down, a suggestion of security if you were computing, or ideas for mischeif if you were listening. If you needed a hand moving, he was there. I remeber enless hours of planning and scheming on the next 'IT' product that was going to
  make us all ... "filthy-stinking rich".

  He would call me at random intervals with salutations of 'Lord Worfin' and 'Bigboote'. -' Thats Bigboo-TAY.'

  John's culinary prowress is the stuff legends are made of. On one occasion, while at Johns house, he blessed us with a specialty dish he called Nuclear Pizza. It was the best thing I never want to have again.

  I was privy to the Mike Nagle fence destruction party. There is no question about what the most effective way to remove fenceposts.

  John and I were helping Sam Woolsey with some particularly nasty juniper bushes. I remember the twinkle in John's eyes when he fired up the chainsaw. He knew how to make yardwork fun.

  The rabbits outside my new apartment have been given the same moniker which John gave to the rabbit living under his porch. All rabbits hereafter shall be named Clyde.

  On more than one occasion, John would spray round-up on the daffodils in his front yard. If that didnt take care of them, there was always the M-80s.

  Golf _IS_ better when using spam... but your spam should be frozen to gain distance. Straight out of the can tends to be a bit messy.

  He taught me the joys of brewing beer. I have been saving what was a prized bottle of Ponte brewed mead. It has now has become irreplaceable.

  There are dozens of happy Ponte memories. Some are less clear than others, thanks to the perfect martini or a couple bombers of homebrew. I wish there had been more but I am thankful for the ones I have.

  RIP, JP - you are already, and will continue to be missed.

  brandonDOTraperATgmailDOTcom

  Posted by: randomtaper on September 12, 2006 at 07:17 AM

• I can not make a gathering this week as I live in Wisconsin. But I am very interested in a Blue Wall gathering in October. Please keep me posted. With a little notice I will be there.

  Missing John terribly......................

  Julie/Evita - jbalch at natus dot com or poohnix at earthlink dot net

  Posted by: jbalch66 on September 12, 2006 at 08:14 AM

• A message from John's Mom:

  Thank you all for your heartfelt comments and stories. To know that John had so many caring friends helps to alleviate the pain, anxiety, and anguish we have endured for so many years.

  Love, Mary Ponte
  

  Posted by: jponte on September 12, 2006 at 08:47 AM

• This one is hard to type, but close to impossible to actually say... I came to UMass from a big high school, but never-the-less got lost in the shuffle at college. Spent a couple of semesters on academic probation. I was a work study student and I remember quite clearly the day I found out I was dismissed. Needless to say I didn't bother going to work, but found that I had locked my keys in my car in lot 32. Took the bus home to Hamp, told John. I now had no job, no insurance and no rent since the deal with my father was rent & car if in school only. John said he would drive me back to get my car and in the meantime said 'what are you going to do now?'

  By the time John got me back to my car, I had an answer. I drove straight to Greenfield and enrolled at GCC. I came home, called my parents and told them I was dismissed. They said 'we will come get you' and I told them it was too late, I had charged a full semester's tuition, fees, and books on their credit card - non-refundable. :)

  The best moment of that day was when John picked me up, hugged me and told me he was proud of me. It meant everything to me.

  Posted by: kitiara on September 12, 2006 at 08:49 AM

• For boston area folks, we're tentatively planning to meet
  9.30 pm *FRIDAY* in davis square at the statues by the benches in front of jp licks. From there we'll find an appropriate place for a drink.

  (hagan at cih dot com)

  Posted by: craighagan on September 12, 2006 at 08:50 AM

• Thank you Tim for starting this comforting collection of John stories and appreciation. I met John here in Colorado at HEAD Sports. I am one of his not IT industry friends.

  I will miss the truly wonderful friend that John was. He is the type of people that we all want to surround us. He was always ready to sample new taste delights from my kitchen. Good beer, great conversation and a treat for the taste buds was a great get together for John an I. Conversations about nearly anything seemed to flow for hours.

  I am saddened by his passing and can only now truly appreciate his battle to keep the unfortunate part of him that he kept to himself. I was very aware of that battle. I knew of the "John Time" that he needed to recharge his batteries. He always gave the best of himself to all of us. We all can hold on to this.

  I will always have my photo of the cake that he made for me after my job elimination from HEAD. It was his BOHICA cake. Bend Over Here It Comes Again. He would set my screen saver to say "Never Pay Full Retail" as I am in sales and could find a way to not pay full retail for most things.

  I am comforted by the out pouring of all of these additions to the blog from all of you. His rememberence is quite deserved.. Thank you to all. A comment from mnagle is quite appropriate, Now John is free.

  Posted by: pkrueger on September 12, 2006 at 09:04 AM

• Jay here, John's brother. I will post some stories here from different parts of John's life as I think of them. All of the UMass era stories made think of the following.

  Not a race:

  This is story from the mid to late 80's - I don't recall exactly when.

  John and I were both headed to our parents' house and happened to see each other on the road not too far away. He was driving his infamous Dodge Charger and I was driving my Plymouth which was reasonably speedy though didn't have quite as much under the hood as the Dodge.

  So anyway, we had gotten onto the street where my parents live and let's just say that I don't recall what the speed limit was or how fast we were going at the time and leave it at that.

  John was ahead of me and suddenly he really hit the accelerator and took off. I thought I had seen him look to the right and so I looked over that way too and saw a police car sitting in driveway about 20 feet back from the road. I also hit the accelerator.

  John got into our parents' driveway in hurry and put the Charger into their garage and closed the door. I pulled in in an equal hurry and stashed my Plymouth behind a wood pile.

  My father sensed something amiss and came out into the driveway where John and I were now both standing. At that point the police car sped by the house with lights and siren going. My father said, "I don't suppose you guys know anything about that?" John and I looked at each other and shrugged. John had that look in his eye. My father said "I don't want to know" and went back into the house.

  Posted by: jponte on September 12, 2006 at 09:20 AM

• In reading these postings as they have been going up, I have been amazed at the consistancey of the stories.
  It seems that Johns ability to lift spirits never faded.
  I look forward to seeing those of you that will make it to Co this week.
  For the rest of y'all, have a pizza and a beer in memory.
  Nick/Shadowspawnnickfel at hotmaildotcom

  Posted by: hawk35 on September 12, 2006 at 09:34 AM

• I have to echo Nick here - each memory I read is either one I share, or makes my brain light up with yet another one, I couldn't possibly type them all.

  I just asked my friend, a DJ at an internet radio station, to play Meat Loaf's Bad Attitude - Gods, I remember CRUISING in the starship with that cranked.

  In all of the UMass memories, no one has mentioned TUNNELLING - a formal dinner in a reeking steam tunnel is something everyone should experience at least once.

  
  There is no way I can be in Western Mass in October, but I'll be in Colorado on Thursday. If there is a GTG at the Blue Wall - hoist one for me, please.
  Feel free to get in touch if you desire alyxx at pantherhawk dot net

  Posted by: epanther on September 12, 2006 at 09:48 AM

• I don't think anyone has mentioned the bog monster yet. For those of you who were subject to this prank, its hard to forget.

  Posted by: seasick67 on September 12, 2006 at 10:18 AM

• I didn't know him all that well directly, but his presence and quirks were an essential attractor and part of the energy of the confer/umsfs crowds. I'm sure he went on to create similar wonderful chaos around him elsewhere in his better moments, and I'm sorry to think of all that he could have continued to do if his worse moments hadn't caught up with him. Sadly, I've known too many similar stories.That I'd hear of his passing through others trying to reach others who knew him shows that the community he helped shape still exists after two decades, and I hope it counts as some sort of monument to him.
  {warlock}

  Posted by: 0x13 on September 12, 2006 at 11:17 AM

• Sheri Isele asked me to upload two photos. The first is John's first grade photo; the second was taken during a hiking trip and looks quite recent.

  -Tim

  Posted by: timboudreau on September 12, 2006 at 11:41 AM

• Does anyone have the Perfect Martini recipe?

  Posted by: randomtaper on September 12, 2006 at 01:04 PM

• Peter here again,

  I am *AT* the Blue Wall Mara! Janice also, of course...

  I'll be back later with low-bandwidth versions of the pictures Sheri Isele
  sent out - they're kinda big and I'm in dialup country...>
  Peter d.
  

  Posted by: regnad on September 12, 2006 at 02:02 PM

• Very shrunken and cropped versions of the 1st grade and hiking images.
  I don't mean to offend anyone, it is just that imaging is play for me

  First grade 96K

  Hiking 60K

  Peter

  Posted by: regnad on September 12, 2006 at 03:42 PM

• One of my favorite memories of John is of one Thanksgiving dinner at our house the year one of the Northampton housemates had planted a garden. He hadn't been allowed to take care of the garden in his preferred way - mowing - but by this time the season was over and the garden abandoned. John arrived for dinner and proudly announced "I brought the broccoli!!" brandishing a 3-foot stalk that he had harvested by tying it to the bumper of the Starship. Another favorite is the day he called me from Conway to tell me that it was really not a good idea to cook chicken for three days - because of course he just found out he had.As so many others have said, there are too many to post here. I wasn't really part of the confer/OIT group, except peripherally. John was the first student Peter ever brought home and considered a friend. Some of the people who John brought along or introduced us to are still among our closest friends. He was a huge part of our lives, and will be sorely missed.Janice deFriesse

  Posted by: jdefriesse on September 12, 2006 at 04:02 PM

• Someone wrote: "In all of the UMass memories, no one has mentioned TUNNELLING - a formal dinner in a reeking steam tunnel is something everyone should experience at least once."

  Of course not.
  Tunnelling is illegal.
  :D

  Posted by: gemi9 on September 12, 2006 at 04:33 PM

• I have thought about this for a couple of days but I still don't know where to begin. I met and became friends with John in 1997 while working at Paranet. I remember working with him on a project at Corporate Express for a few weeks and he was one hard worker. I also remember chatting and drinking beers with him at various Paranet meetings. I left Paranet in March of 1998 for Sun Microsystems.

  John was the type of guy you could count on when things were bad. In May of 1998 I broke both of my ankles and I spent a year either in a wheelchair or on crutches. This was further complicated since my wife was 8 months pregnant with our second daughter. John took it upon himself to mow and take care of our yard all summer. He even conned his friends to mow our yard when he was out of town for work. They do not make many guys that you can count like that.

  I eventually found myself in the Broomfield Campus SA Group at Sun. John later joined this group and this is where the toilet made its appearance at Sun. On occasion, John would plant a Snickers bar in the toilet for added effect.

  I remember how proud John was when he bought his house in Lafayette. He was particularly pleased that he had his real estate agent list a decorative light switch cover that is located in the basement as an inclusion so it would show up in the county records and he wondered if any county clerks ever noticed.

  Restoring the 1985 red Nishiki Mountain bike to rideable order.
  Pint Low
  A free beer is never a bad beer
  How many M80s does it take to blow up .........
  That's going to leave a mark
  We always wondered but never figured out how many beers you could fit in the back of the truck.

  
  I have left the IT field and now own a restaurant and bar in Erie, CO which is just NE of Lafayette. I will be at the bar/restaurant every night (Wed-Sun) for the rest of the week so feel free to stop by for a microbrew or cup of strong coffee. The address is 524 Briggs St.
  

  Posted by: leecarter on September 12, 2006 at 06:15 PM

• There have been a lot of comments about the gifts John gave us in life, and how even in his passing, he has given us one final gift of bringing us all back in touch after a long stretch of years.

  Steve's e-mailings and Tim's blog have been invaluable in these days since we heard the very sad news. There have been questions on the blog and in emails between Steve and others about trying to coordinate future gatherings of the UMass / Confer community that John influenced so much. I'd like to offer a private e-mail list to help in coordinating a reunion of John's friends (one as early as October in western MA), as well as a place where folks can stay or get back in touch over the years to come. The list is called, "Hloe", in tribute to how John would often start a conversation with anyone.

  If you'd like to subscribe to the list, send an e-mail to: majordomo at virgil dot com.

  
  The subject line of the e-mail can be anything you like.

  
  The body of the e-mail should contain only the following line (nothing else - not even signatures):

  subscribe hloe {your e-mail address}

  
  If all goes well, you'll receive 2 messages. One gives you information about the mailing list - you should keep it for reference. The other will contain a key with instructions for sending a confirmation e-mail that you'll need to follow to complete your registration.

  
  Once you've been added to the list, you'll receive a welcome message and you'll be able to post to the list. The e-mail address to send mail to the "Hloe" list is: hloe at virgil dot com.

  
  The list only accepts posts from members, so you won't have to worry about spambots or other junk mail coming in through it.

  
  If for some reason you have trouble subscribing to the "Hloe" list, send me an e-mail (jsb at virgil dot com) and I will add you directly.

  Take care everyone,

  
  - Jim
  

  Posted by: jsbelfiore on September 12, 2006 at 08:12 PM

• I met John back in 1984, or '85 through Confer. We became friends, which is odd as I didn't do that very well. Through most of my time in western Mass John was always there, if I was moving he was driving the truck I borrowed from my brother-ini-law at 3:00 AM through Amherst. But we all know that John was generous with his time and himself. There was the time that he stopped by my apartment and had me grab my vacuum cleaner and jump into the Starship. We were off to rescue a friend's car by vacumming the chrome bits out of his carburator. There was the time that we raced up from South Hadley at about 2 in the morning, he in the Starship, me in my underpowered Mazda station wagon. He did faster on the straights, but I caught up to him in the curves. Then there was the time that I tuned up the Mazda, and he told me that there was no point tuning a car up if you weren't going to wring it out. This ended up with an explanation to the security gyuy patrolling the parking lot at the Hampshire mall. John brought fun into my life in a way no one else ever has. But John did something even better. He saw things in me that I did not see. He wanted to go into an IT consulting business, and wanted me to be part of it. He handed me a book on DB II and told me to learn it , as it was very much like Dbase, and that would be invalubable to a consulting business. Sadly that business never happened, but the fact that he believed I could learn database programming made it very hard to not learn it. John always had faith in me even when I didn't, and I think it angered him when I would give up on myself. At one point we didn't communicate much for over ten years, despite my not infrequent visits to Boulder. When 4 years ago I stopped in Boulder with Alyxx, on my way cross country we stayed overnight with John, and it was as if we had never had a falling out. He met us at the door with appropriate alcohol in hand, and we talked the rest of the night. Last year when I was spending a lot of time in Colorado due to a health crisis in my family he insisted that I spend some time with him. It was a godsend to be able to just relax with a good friend and not dwell on my family issues.

  I missed John during the time we were out of communication, but I will miss him still more now that he has gone on ahead to scout the terrain for us.

  Jeremy Dunn aka Frodo aka the_mad_baker
  jeremy at pantherhawk dot net

  Posted by: jddunn61 on September 12, 2006 at 10:44 PM

• I met John in the Twinkle days on one of my typical ventures up Orchard Hill, 301 Field to be precise. It was a usual evening of carousing with Beowulf, Trout, et al. We went out on "a mission" in the Charger aka Starship. It was only the first of many....

  I remember working on the carb of the Dodge in Pete's garge, with a Camel (filtered) in his mouth with a loooong ash hanging over it and a bowl full of gas. I never saw peter move so fast in my life. No, the ash missed ..... this time....

  We were comrades and eventually roommates in Northwood Apartments. I clearly remember a classic John incident from the first few weeks in that apartment. I came home one afternoon after a full day of classes. When I walked in the door, I sensed the familiar smell of smoke. "John's cooking again," I thought. I closed the door and went to the kitchenette and the oven which was on. When my calls of "John! John!" went unanswered I turned off the oven and opened it's door to a thick cloud of smoke billowing out. I quickly hit the exhaust fan. Then, I saw inside a round cake pan. I grabbed a pair of oven mitts that John always had handy, yanked it out and placed it on the stove top. When the smoke had cleared , I discovered a small "hockey puck" in the center of the pan. Nice! I just left it there to cool a bit and went to my room and my desk to unload my books. Shortly, I heard a PVTA bus pull up outside, some quick steps to the door and keys in the lock. The door flew open and John ran over to the stove. He yanked open the oven door, looked inside and shouted, "Oh my God! It disintegrated!!"

  It was in that apartment that the "after Rocky Horror" party occurred. I came home in the wee hours after a night of carousing with Beowulf, Norcott, Bumpas, Kendall, etc. John was burning breakfast for the cast and crew. I took one look at all the people in the shower, shook my head mumbling something like "Not again ..." and went to my room to crash.

  It was in that apartment that I witnessed the first "burning toilet bowl". Doug was not to blame, since it was before he moved in with us. You see it was actually John cleaning the john with EVC and a Camel with another deadly loooong ash. This time it hit the mark and "POOOFF!!" Fortunately, it only singed his beard. I'm not sure, but I think Doug may have been responsible for the second burning bowl. At that time, Spock declared that there were 3 John's in the apartment and only 1 flushed! Doug's middle name is John.

  I will definitely join a gathering at the Blue Wall in memory of John. He was one of my best friends, a brother. I love you John and I miss you.

  Steve aka Gemini

  Posted by: bones on September 12, 2006 at 10:58 PM

• Hope this comes out looking ok. I don't often do any more web-coding since I managed to put together my own measly website. LOL Here goes!

  First off, I'd like to thank Steve and Jay for keeping us all informed about the plans John's family has made regarding his memorial service and Tim for putting this website up so quickly. I only wish I could be there. I could easily find someone to work for me for a day or two, but living in BFE (read: Northern Montana), I have tried to find flights and have even tried looking at trains heading that way(what a waste of time looking for trains). Nothing. *SIGH*

  I wish I knew someone with a private plane to get me down there, as I'd have been there days ago. John has been and will still be the kind of
  friend a person would drop everything for and would do whatever they could for. I only wish that my fiance' and I were closer to an airline
  with any kind of regular flight to that area.

  My heart and thoughts are with the whole family. John was a very dear friend to me and I have a lot of fun, funny, odd and strange history
  with him. I met John in the early part of November of '83 after being brought to the Blue Wall by a fellow in my dorm who got me "hooked"
  on Confer - to have icecream, meet my fellow Confer-ites, and have some fun. It was all Steve(Gemini) had said, and more!

  I moved out here to northern Montana in '95 and had kept up fairly good correspondance with John until around the middle of '98. I am
  not sure what happened around then, but his replies(when they happened) usually consisted of "Hloe! All's well on Vulcan! Spock out!" This
  was a rather different thing for him, since he and I used to pour out "novels"(as I called them) at least once every 2-3 weeks. One of the
  last emails I received from him in the middle of '98 said that he was not liking his job, and generally not liking life. I reminded him of
  a "walk" we took many moons ago, and that he had plenty of friends (myself included) if he ever needed to just crash and get back on
  track, and that if he ever doubted that ALL of his friends loved him, I'd kick his punk Vulcan butt myself, faster than he could Moon
  people from a moving car.... He replied that he knew, and that *I* was being a baghead, and he appreciated the kick to the butt!
  That was the last I heard from him, despite probably 2-3 dozen attempts to contact him. I only wish I hadn't given up trying to
  get some response from him. I guess I figured he'd moved, lost my address and wasn't getting mail forwarded. *blah*

  The Memorial Service

  If at all possible, I have only one simple request for his memorial service. Chocolate Chip Cookies. If you'd like, you can include the
  following explanation of WHY chocolate chip cookies in his memorial service as well. I think it would be quite fitting.

  Why? Well, let me tell you. John had Cookie Radar. I am not sure he had Cookie Radar for everyone, but he had an uncanny knack of knowing
  just when I was making Chocolate Chip Cookies. He'd either bound up the 4 flights of stairs to my dorm room(Crabtree) when I was an
  undergrad, or drive to Cliffside Apts in Sunderland when I came back for Grad School, and knock loudly on the door with a "HLOE! HEY! I
  smell COOKIES!". I swear I could not bake one single batch of cookies without his Cookie Radar going off and he'd be at my door unerringly
  before I could get the 2nd dozen into the oven.

  One of the times I made cookies was one winter day in '89 shortly after I'd moved back for Grad School. I'd come home from work and
  since it was cold out and snowing, I thought I'd make some Chocolate Chip Cookies to cheer myself up. I went to my cupboard to
  get out all the ingredients...and the brown sugar was one solid brick.
  I tried everything I could think of for over an hour to get that brown sugar to soften up, since I was not going to drive 10 miles back
  to work(at Price Chopper in Amherst) just to get that and drive another 10 miles back, all in wet sloppy snow.
  Ticked off by now, I thought to myself: What would Spock do? I got out my GRATER. Voila. It was slow going, since the brown sugar
  was completely solid, but I was bound and determined to make some COOKIES!
  After about 5 minutes of grating, the phone rang. "HLOE!" It was John. I laughed when I heard that special greeting, and a puzzled Spock said:
  "What's so funny, and what IS that noise???" (I was STILL grating the dratted brown sugar....). I laughed and said: "My dear, your Cookie
  Radar..." and got interrupted with: "COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then a scary singing of:
  "C is for Cookie, it's good enough for me!
  C is for Cookie, give them all to ME!"
  Good lord, I thought, he's suffering from Lack-Of-Cookies. After us both laughing and calming down, I finished my thought: "John my
  dear, your Cookie Radar never ceases to amaze me. I'm trying to make cookies now." He replied: "Trying??" I replied: "Yeah, that annoying
  noise you heard was me in the middle of GRATING my brown sugar."
  He snorted and laughed: "Shelly, what the f**k are you doing GRATING brown sugar?" I replied to him that I'd gone to make cookies and the
  brown sugar was hard as ..." and he interrupted me and whined "No!!! Don't say any more! My poor virgin ears!"
  I DROPPED the grater onto the floor from laughing so hard, and about had myself an asthma attack from that. I finally got out "as a BRICK,
  you baghead. You perverted baghead!" His reply: "Why thank you, Shelly!" More laughter.
  When we finally quit laughing and I said I needed to go wash the damned grater so I could actually get some cookies made, he said: "HM! What DO
  you end up putting in those cookies anyway? I usually am too busy EATING them to remember to ask what's in there other than chocolate chips." I
  hadn't realized at the time what was forthcoming, and just rattled off "choc chips, flour, oat flour, butter, baking soda, brown sugar, eggs,
  white sugar and vanilla, why?"
  Next thing I hear is: "Aha. HLOE!" and he hung up. I was baffled. I figured, well, he's going to try to experiment in his kitchen. I hope I
  don't get blamed for the fire department having to come out there on such a sloppy night.
  I don't know where he was calling from at the time(I didn't have caller ID then), but about 20-25 minutes later(after I had given up on making
  cookies because I was too tired from grating and only had half a cup grated), I hear a pounding on my door and a "HLOE! I do NOT smell
  cookies, WTF Shelly??!" He'd driven in the snow, Cookie Radar now on full alert since I'd actually SAID I was making cookies and now
  there weren't any...
  I opened up the door, and instead of just John, bouncing up and down with glee waiting for cookies, there was John with 2 FULL
  brown bags...with flour, brown sugar, eggs.......all the ingredients. And TWO cookie sheets. He walked past me into the kitchen and
  said "Where's the cookies?" I laughed and said I'd given up, and pointed to the brick on the counter. He laughed, banged it on the
  counter, banged it on his HEAD...and said "Well, I know what to do with this!" and opened one of my windows, popped the screen out
  and FIRED it at the nearest tree. We died laughing. He put the screen back in, closed the window and said: "Look in the bags,
  I think there's enough there for some cookies!" How he managed to get to a store, get all of that and get to Sunderland in
  20 minutes on sloppy roads I still to this day do not know how he did it...
  I measured, he mixed, and we were baking cookies til 2am. We made 12 dozen cookies, he ate FIVE DOZEN that night, and he
  crashed at my place because he had "Cookie Hangover". Oh yeah, he washed all the dishes too. LOL. That was neither the first
  nor the last time he'd eaten FIVE DOZEN chocolate chip cookies in one sitting either. It also wasn't the first or last time I
  sent him on his way with what was left(minus 2 dozen for myself- which lasted me over a week).
  John my friend, I still love ya to bits. I hope Heaven has some heavy-duty Mixmasters waiting for you. Chocolate Chip
  Cookies all around for everyone, and you may only PWAH some from someone else once. :)

  
  Keep in touch.

  Shelly

  Posted by: shelly_aka_cyndal on September 13, 2006 at 12:26 AM

• Peter (Fuligin) and I still have Spock childhood desk. We where just out at UMass at the end of June with the kids feeding the ducks at the pond. We took them by UMSFS and WMUA and the Blue Wall.

  Hugs,
  Peter and Misch Lee

  Posted by: oldpatterns on September 13, 2006 at 07:04 AM

• Now that it's morning and the shock is subsiding, I want to make a few things from my previous post clear. One of John's strengths was his ability to laugh at himself. He always helped and cared for the people around him. I recounted the events in much the way he told them himself. He took lessons that he learned and presented them in dramatic fashion to other people in an effort to help and teach others. John was also very careful and responsible. Sometimes stuff just happens.

  The carb being repaired under the hood of the car in pete's garage was not getting fuel. He knew this, we didn't and it happened quite by accident while he was pondering the problem. Nevertheless, there could have been gas in the bowl. He never did that again and would caution anyone from doing this.

  He set the timer on the stove in the apartment but it wasn't working properly. Also, he knew that I would be home soon. However, he felt that he should not have let the rush to get out to work distract him from turning off the cake before leaving. Again, lesson learned, not to be repeated.

  The toilet burning actually happened in the early testing of the EVC formula and during the 2nd rinse phase. He had vented the room and rinsed once already. The small puff of flame and smoke was actually mostly inside the bowl and quite minor. The shock of heat and smoke was enough to cause him to warn people to keep away until he was sure it was safe. He even later went to the extreme of placing yellow tape around the area while telling the story.

  The people in the shower were clothed when I got there. Someone kept turning on the water and soaking whoever was nearby. That's what made it so crazy and funny. It was kind-of a wet, stuffed phonebooth gag. And he was a very accomplished cook. I hear the breakfast was great. I just wasn't up for food that morning. John and Joe Hicks had even removed a broken spark plug from my Nova when the sun came up before I had time to even get my shoes on. I kept that piece of plug for years just to show people how far he'd go to help.

  John gave in ways that might be impossible to repay. In fact, he shunned any attempt for you to do so. There was a time he kept trying to pay me 2 pennies he owed me from making change or something that I told him to keep. He would leave them on my desk, and I'd stick them in his oven mitts. He'd shove them under my door when I was in my room concentrating on coursework (I probably needed the break) and I'd tape them in an envelope to the steering wheel of his car. Stuff like that went on for weeks until I finally gave up.

  These are just some of the things about John that made him special and unique in the most positive way.

  Steve/Gemini

  Posted by: bones on September 13, 2006 at 08:28 AM

• John introduced me to my husband, Tom (Sarge). I remember this birthday party we had at Mt. Holyoke where John unhooked the fire extinguisher and sprayed everyone with the liquid. That was the most trouble I got into at MHC!

  He also drove up once to Austin just like that... said he took the wrong turn at Albe-quoi-qui. Brought my son two huge super soakers and ran around the house soaking all of us...

  Oh yes, he *loved* indian food and the spicier I could make it, the better... with tears streaming down his face, gulping huge glasses of milk, he would pile the food on his plate and eat it all...

  I miss him so much and reading all the posts has made me really appreciate how much he touched all of us.. thanks for the postings.

  Could someone please send me details of the memorial service so I can send flowers or something?
  Dibs (Vagdevi) vagdevim at gmail dot com

  Posted by: dibs on September 13, 2006 at 08:54 AM

• It's hard to overstate the effect that John has on us. We all hope to leave a legacy behind us, and John truly has. He was a person that you fall in love with, head-over-heels, the moment you meet him. He was infuriating, charming, uproarious, and overwhelmingly accepting and empathic. When we know people, we think good things about them. John never hesitated to sing his friends' praises to everyone who would listen. He genuinely loved us all, and told us how wonderful we were.

  I, too, met John in the mid-1980s at UMASS because I poked around the Control Data machines curiously and stumbled upon Confer. When my roommates started filling our apartment with too many grad students, he found me a sublease with Amanda and Scott (Nyssa & Pup). I don't know what he told them to get me in there, but he was a fast friend. Yes, I was doused with water, kept up late, "helped" with my cooking, forced to eat at McManus at 3AM, and introduced to a whole bunch of strange people. I was dragged through The UMASS Maze in the middle of the night and up to the top of the hill to watch the sun come up, protesting that I didn't *want* to do any of this, but unable to resist.

  He played matchmaker, knowing that I would get along with his friend Vagdevi. He was right - three years later I married her! And of course, he insisted that the wedding party go for ice cream at McCray's Country Creamery (read: cowsh!t-smelling working dairy farm) on the way to the reception. He showed up at our door with cigars and super-soakers when our child was born, called periodically for no reason, and remembered our birthdays. (I have no idea how he knew what our birthdays were, or where he found our various unlisted phone numbers)

  I can't relate all of the crazy things John dragged me through; you who know him surely remember. He will always have a very special place in my heart. This is a man I have loved for two decades. And now I hurt. But I do smile through the tears. How can I not?

  Posted by: sarge on September 13, 2006 at 05:47 PM

• "I do remember when he paid Graham Mitchell (Loki / Locarai) and I a visit in our apartment in Dedham MA in 1992. He taught us how to make beer battered seafood." I'm surprised we didn't burn that place down. The place would have deserved it....

  I still use recipes learned from John, as well as blaming Barking Spiders etc. Like everyone, I remember driving the Fiat, as well as doing auto repair in his driveway, mostly on my own cars/bike. Nothing will match taking down a wall with the front fork from a motorcycle. I was thinking of him just last week, too.
  
  It's hard to understand how someone who helped me and so many others confront and overcome depression would succumb to it himself.
  
  A memorial on 10/08 at the Blue Wall is definitely in order. I'll be there and I'll drag Andy Hommel and any other Boston area Conferites with me.
  
  My wife still doesn't know what to make of me yelling "Stop Typing Up There!" when she's online....
  
  - GrahamLocarai at aol dot com
  

  Posted by: locarai on September 13, 2006 at 05:48 PM

• The memorial service will be informal and take place in a fairly spectacular setting at Brainard Lake just off the Peak to Peak highway near Boulder. It is at an altitude of around 10,300 feet and the back drop to the lake is the continental divide. It is all contained within the Indian Peak Wilderness area.

  John loved to hike off the St Vrain trail head in this area. I think he loved the solitude and peace of this wilderness.

  I hope the Colorado sun shines tomorrow.

  After that his family will return to John's house.
  His address is 2400 S Springwood Ct Lafayette CO 80026.

  Posted by: mnagle on September 13, 2006 at 05:52 PM

• Thanks to all of you who posted pictures of John. I rember John telling me that he wasn't particularly fond of having his picture taken. He was not terribly happy with me after I snapped this picture, but it was spam golf day in Nederland and there was good food, great company and plenty of beer so all was forgotten shortly thereafter. I so very much wish I could be there with all of you tomorrow morning.

  Posted by: randomtaper on September 13, 2006 at 06:28 PM

• Recipe for a Perfect Martini

  
  2.5 oz Gin (John would settle for nothing less than Saphire)

  .5 oz Sweet Vermouth

  .5 ox Dry Vermouth

  Posted by: sandealer on September 13, 2006 at 08:54 PM

• I had the pleasure of living with John (and a slew of other people) in a little house in Hadley that came to be known as the Rat house. I could not possibly recall all of the strange and wacky stories I have of John. Those and most everthing else from that time are a little hazy. I do remember 2 important lessons I learnd from John. The first was life was meant to be seized with both hands so that it doesn't simply pass you by. The second lesson was ether in a can will get almost every car to start (at least temporarily).

  Farewell John. Thanks for the milkcrates and everything else.

  Tom a.k.a. Bumpas

  Posted by: bumpas on September 14, 2006 at 07:12 AM

• Reading these stories is such a big help today. I wish I could be in the mountains today. Please let me know about the Oct. gathering in the Blue Wall as soon as possible. I so want to be there if at all possible.
  Julie / Evita

  Posted by: jbalch66 on September 14, 2006 at 07:34 AM

• Julie I am with you on that, wish I could be at that service myself but money (or lack thereof) prevents. At any rate to my knowledge the gathering at the Blue Balls is slated for Sunday 10/8/06 but the time is unknown. (I am hoping it will be later in the day myself...) I hope this helps somewhat and that you are as well as can be expected. Felicitations and well wishes to all other posters here as well....both those I know and those I don't. Out for now......Jan/Elric/Logan/Longshot/Riff-Raff
  

  Posted by: xhaosdaemon on September 14, 2006 at 01:46 PM

• fyi
  boston meetup at davis square is tomorrow; time is adjusted. 9:00PM (21:00) EST.

  my cell phone is 206-794 NOSPAM 7820 if someone is running late.

  hagan
  hagan (at) cih.com

  Posted by: craighagan on September 14, 2006 at 07:10 PM

• The memorial service was incredible. So many came from near and far to share their memories and give tribute to John. His brother, Jay, led off with a remarkably good job of a combination of encapsulating John's life and unselfishly giving comfort to the others in attendance.

  The setting was perhaps the most spectacular place I've seen in the Colorado Rockies - and I have lived here all my life. The aspen trees were in their full fall glory, and the remainder of last year's snow could be seen on the highest jagged peaks. Two little ones romped near (and sometimes IN) the lake while we talked about our memories of John - something I am sure he would have enjoyed. Even the heavens cried a few tears on us toward the end.

  I hope those who came with cameras will share their photos on this blog, both for the people who couldn't come and for those who did and want to remember.

  John, you were the best, and I will never be able to replace you, but you will live on in my memory in all the things you taught my son.

  Posted by: sisele on September 15, 2006 at 09:15 AM

• Toad's Kin:

  I had forgotten that but (there is always a "but") John worked for a while (I have no clue how long it really was) at Toad's Kin garage in Florence MA. Toad's was owned by Rad who was also a silent partner in (drum roll) International Auto Parts which actually occupied part of the same "building". (You had to see the place to appreciate why "building" is in quotes.)

  John was engaged in a port of the parts database from CP/M to D.O.S. for International which we worked together on - thank grid for dual phone lines.

  As a result of his services, John got a case of "Toad's Kin" tee-shirts from Rad.

  I found two of the suckers while cleaning out the summer clothes -- a Christmas gift from the year of the database migration. Just imagine -- John with access to a garage AND an auto-parts store.

  I expect I'llkeep finding traces like this for years -- at least I hope so...
  Peter

  Posted by: regnad on September 15, 2006 at 02:39 PM

• Hloe!

  I started an online forum at http://conferfamily.org/forum

  It's kind of like Mailer's notesfiles, but with lots of graphics and clicky things. :)

  The forum grew out of an idea that it would be easier to post photos and talk in different subject areas in a forum rather than on a mailing list. It's still a little raw right now, I'll be modifying and improving it over time, but ya gotta start somewhere...
  

  Posted by: joelll on September 15, 2006 at 03:46 PM

• I got this in email from Laurie Autio a.k.a. Rocdoc. She asked me to post it here:

  ------------------------------------------------
  I am so very sorry to hear about John.

  When I received Mara's email to contact her if I hadn't heard about
  John, a couple of possibilities went through my mind. The first was
  that he had found a way to be the first male to give birth, probably
  to a tiny Fiat (floor optional). The second was that he had asked
  "What does THIS button do?" and blown up something big, more or less
  by accident. Or maybe something involving duct tape, lawnmowers,
  fire, a bus, superglue, large construction equipment, or all of the
  above. At least, I hoped it was one of those.

  I met John through confer (where he typed at warp speed on good days)
  and then random encounters over the past 15-20 years that usually
  left me laughing, comforted, and sometimes worried. My interaction
  was more along the lines of big sister - listener and ballast,
  maybe. He was a gifted storyteller with a bag full of the most
  outrageous (not to mention likely true) stories and took great
  delight in bring