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JavaOne - what a cool, next-generation, Brazilian experience

Posted by kirillcool on July 2, 2005 at 11:35 AM PDT

Oh, well. What did we have?

  • A lot of supposedly cool stuff (even had an entire track for that), that wasn't anywhere near being usable, useful, or cool for that matter.
  • A lot of next-generation stuff, that will take at least 3-4 years to make its way into real-world enterprise applications (yes, it will take uncounted hundreds of millions of dollars for real systems to move from J2EE 1.3.1).
  • A lot of cheap applause from Brazilian programmers (felt like a horde of puppets sometimes, but as long as people are happy...).
  • An amazingly annoying Finch puppet (note the nice interoperability with the previous item). I guess its creator likes it, but who else in the JUGs? Even John Gage was forced to play along and listen to it. Next in line - the guy in the Duke costume (i was told that they worked in shifts). My picture was way out of focus. I'll be on my way to buy that HP camera real soon.
  • A wonderfully disappointing track on desktop (i have attended at least 10 sessions and BoFs on this one), only to be matched by the shallowness of "Swing hacks" with stunning amount of typos, discrepancies between the code and the comments, and code style. But then again, i only got to #45. Nice to know, though, that a sizeable portion of Java 2D team has been working for three weeks on turning a non-existing application into an extreme looking one.
  • An educating insight into Dolphin's future by Mark Reinhold. Unfortunately, he has asked me to refrain from putting the screenshots of his slides on the web, so i'll patiently wait (hopefully not too long) for his entry on the subject to put my 2c in.
  • A stunning amount of James Gosling look-a-likes. Guys, seriously, the long gray hair may look fine on James, but not on you. Just shell out a few bucks and cut it. Really. Even set up a PayPal account, and i'll gladly chip in.
  • A fair amount of nightmares when John Gage repeatedly tells me that I have only 58 hours left to make new friends. Only to be matched by the obnoxious behaviour of xfy's marketing guys. And may be by the amazing number of people who were actually willing to sit down and listen to that **** to get a t-shirt in the end.
  • Speaking of xfy - the technical people couldn't even tell me why it's better than OpenOffice or MS Office. Well, why should i buy it exactly?
  • And speaking of the pavillion floor - nice experience with one of the Sun's WebStart guys that couldn't answer my question (not an easy one) and then was apparently relieved when his shift ended. Didn't even finish the conversation properly, just looked the other way and started to talk with the next shift guy. Way to go!
  • The naming convention for next Java products is OK, but can the marketing guys please stop? Pretty please? I know you have to show that you bring value to the organization, but how about enough? Not only did you make the slides look ridiculous, you even got your own people confused (Graham and Mark had contradicting points of view on the time of the next naming change). Pretty please, can you choose something and then let it live? Maybe you (the lawyers / marketing people) didn't attend the sessions, but even your own technical guys were making fun of you (indirectly) on each slide with "Java TM Platform Standard Edition" that replaced "Java".
  • Had my own BoF attended by almost 18 people (but then again, it started at 19:30 on Wednesday, in the middle of the "Bash the next geek you see" party).
  • And please! We know you are Brazilian. Heard it quite a few times. Brazil everybody (wait a few seconds for applause). Blah blah blah (notice that the audience is dozing off) Brazil (wait for applause). Rinse and repeat.

And now - the promised cartoon. I could call it "cool" or even "next-generation". However, it's a simple still shot of my wall map with an assorted sprinkle of spray primitive in Microsoft (should i shoot myself for not using a true Open-Source product?) Paint:


And yes, Hani, it was a long flight, i went to sessions (some good, some bad, no explanations why), i met people (it was cool, remind myself to cut right arm for using this word again), JSF could kick ass if i bothered enough to use it, NetBeans is great (i don't work for Sun, honest), and here's a picture (he does look perplexed, doesn't he?)

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